My children just celebrated their birthdays recently. Vivi turned 2 on February 20 and Luke just turned 5 on March 14. Jon discovered that Luke is destined to be a physicist as his birthday is not only Pi Day (3.14) but also Albert Einstein's birthday. I just looked up Vivi's birthday to see if she shares her special day with anyone famous. Kurt Cobain, Cindy Crawford, Patty Hearst, and Ansel Adams. So she has the potential to be a world famous supermodel/possible musician who does drugs (who doesn't?), fakes her own kidnapping, and is an awesome nature photographer to boot. (I'm personally hoping for the photographer...)
So besides mourning the infant years and lamenting over how fast my children are growing, I was reflecting upon my role as their mother. All through my life, even with my own family or in my various circle of friends, I've always had this feeling of not really belonging 100%. I always felt like I either got by or got along well with others, but this doubt of whether or not I fit in well always hung over me and still does. Perhaps I can chalk it up to my need to be perfect in whatever role I assume--relative, friend, co-worker, nurse, etc. But where I have absolutely no doubt is in my role as a wife and mother. Granted, I always have that question looming over me of "Am I a good enough wife or mother?". But what I never question is that I was destined to be Jon's wife and, as a result, become the mother of Luke and Vivian just as they were destined to collectively be the family God blessed me with. I cannot envision them NOT being in my life. They are the central purpose to my being and, aside from the one triune God with Christ and the Holy Spirit, my family is my own personal Alpha and Omega. They are my beginning and my end. I hope I do them proud in my endeavors to be the wife and mother of our small, special little family.
And the children do me proud with every year that passes. Vivian is a very loving little girl who definitely knows what she wants. If she didn't get what she wanted, she lets you know in a very big way. It's a fine line between being spoiled and self-assured, but I hope that in my efforts fall on the latter side of that line as I raise her. She loves music, reflecting the passion for rhythm and song that is undoubtedly the Filipina coming out in her. She's also very loving. Right now she's in a hugging phase and I adore it. She still has the squishy, soft body of toddlerhood that makes hugs so extra-special. Luke is analytical and likes things done in a certain way. He shows such an early interest for various aspects of science and soaks up all he learns like a sponge. He will be the one to see things in black and white, much like his engineer father. He is also becoming more in tune to God and it makes my heart smile. Praying the Lord's Prayer with him is always a joy.
I hope that Jon and I raise them both up to be productive members of society, confident in their abilities and always aware of the fact that we love them for who they are regardless of the flaws that all humans will have.